When Grief Needs Witnesses — War and Peace

Mary explains that Natasha is staying with her. The count and countess will come in a few days. The countess is in a dreadful state, but Natasha herself had to see a doctor. Pierre turns to Natasha: is there a family free from sorrow now? He saw Petya the very day they were rescued. What a delightful boy. Natasha's eyes widen and light up. What consolation can one think of, Pierre asks. Why had such a boy, so full of life, to die? Mary speaks of faith. Natasha looks into Pierre's eyes: why is it true? Because, he says, only one who believes God rules us can bear a loss such as hers, and yours. She opens her mouth and stops. Pierre's confusion has almost gone, and with it his freedom. There is now a judge of every word whose judgment matters more than all the rest of the world. He does not speak to please her, yet he regards everything from her standpoint.

Mary reluctantly begins to tell of Andrew's last condition. Pierre's quivering face and eager questions compel details she fears to recall. He leans in: so he grew tranquil? He had always sought to be perfectly good; he could not fear death. What a happy thing that he saw you again. Natasha's face twitches. Yes, that was happiness, she says in her deep chest notes. He said he was wishing for it at the very moment she entered the room. Her voice breaks. Then she speaks rapidly, not letting them interrupt, of what she has never told anyone: the three weeks of the journey and life at Yaroslavl, mixing trifling details with secrets of her soul, repeating herself. Pierre listens with lips parted and does not think of Andrew or of death. He feels only pity for what she is suffering now while she speaks. Mary, frowning to hold back tears, hears for the first time the story of those last days of her brother's and Natasha's love.

Dessalles asks whether little Nicholas may come in to say good night. Natasha says that is everything, rises, almost runs, strikes her head on the curtained door, and rushes out with a moan of pain or sorrow. Pierre gazes at the door and does not understand why he suddenly feels all alone in the world. Mary draws his attention to the boy. The face that resembles Andrew's affects Pierre so much that after kissing him he goes to the window with his handkerchief. He wishes to leave; Mary will not let him. Natasha and she sometimes do not sleep till after two; he must stay for supper. Before he goes downstairs she tells him this is the first time Natasha has talked of Andrew like that.