Talis vita, finis ita: Capitan Tiago gets a good end, meaning an exceptional funeral after terror killed him in chapter twenty-eight. The parish curate notes he died without confession, but Padre Irene, executor, rubs his nose and asks why mention it: if obsequies were denied every impenitent, they would forget the De profundis, and those rules apply when the sinner is also insolvent. Irene has buried infidel Chinamen with requiem masses, and Tiago leaves wealth.
The will names Irene trustee and splits property among St Clara, the Pope, the Archbishop, and religious corporations, plus twenty pesos for poor students' matriculation at Irene's suggestion. Tiago had cut twenty-five pesos from Basilio for ingratitude during the scare; Irene restores the legacy and vows to pay from his own purse and conscience. At the wake, gossip cannot touch the pasquinade arrests or Basilio in prison, so mourners invent a miracle: Tiago's soul appeared to nuns in frock coat, buyo cheek, game-cock, and opium pipe, saved by masses and pious legacies no one dares question.
Gamblers debate whether he will cockfight in heaven; Don Primitivo insists both roosters win while Aristorenas cries heresy and refuses to bank with him, and Quiroga asks to contract cockpits with Christ when he dies. Capitan Tinong offers a costly Franciscan habit that wards off hellfire, a relic bought with thirty-six pesos; a tailor argues the nuns saw Tiago ascend in a frock coat and sells one for thirty-two pesos, four less than the habit because Tiago was a customer. Irene rejects both and dresses the corpse in an old suit, remarking that God paid no attention to clothing.
Three friars, extras like an actor's benefit, responsories in the house, incense, Latin, holy water, and Irene's falsetto Dies Irae shake the neighbourhood while Doña Patrocinio, rival in piety, wishes she could die next day to outdo the pomp and hear crowds praise her funeral instead. The chapter closes on spectacle, not grief. Rizal satirises colonial religion as invoice and theatre. When confession rules bend for the rich dead, who pays for the living Basilio Irene still claims to protect?
