When Hope Dies — The Brothers Karamazov

The Moscow doctor leaves Ilusha's room disgusted, barely glancing at Alyosha and Kolya. The captain begs for any hope; the doctor says he is not God, that they must be prepared, then offers absurd cures: Syracuse, Caucasus, Paris for the mother, as though poverty were not visible in the bare passage. Kolya calls him apothecary, threatens Perezvon, and obeys only Alyosha when told to stop.

Inside, Ilusha heard the verdict. He embraces father and Kolya, says he is sorry for his father, asks him to choose another good boy named Ilusha and not forget the grave by their big stone with Kolya and Perezvon in the evening. Kolya says he will bring Perezvon, but now he will take him, because the dog will howl and bother them. He runs into the passage. He does not want to cry, but he bursts into tears. Alyosha finds him. Kolya, you must keep your word and come, or he will be terribly disappointed. I will. Oh, how I curse myself for not having come before. He is no longer ashamed of the tears.

The captain flies out and shuts the door. His face is frenzied. I do not want a good boy. I do not want another boy. If I forget thee, Jerusalem, may my tongue. He breaks off and sinks on his knees before the wooden bench, fists against his head, doing his utmost that the cries should not be heard in the room. Kolya runs into the street. Will you come yourself? Alyosha will come in the evening. What was that about Jerusalem? It is from the Bible. If I forget all that is most precious to me, if I let anything take its place. I understand, that is enough. Mind you come. Ici, Perezvon. He goes home.