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The Price of Love's Approval — War and Peace

War and Peace - The Price of Love's Approval

Leo Tolstoy

War and Peace

The Price of Love's Approval

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Analysis by the Wide Reads editorial team·Reviewed against the source text·Updated December 11, 2025

Summary

The Price of Love's Approval

War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy

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Prince Andrew asks his father's consent and meets calm talk that is really wrath: the match lacks rank and wealth, Andrew's health is poor, little Nicholas needs a steadier guardian, and the old prince orders a year's delay abroad before any wedding.

Andrew accepts the postponement and returns to Petersburg three weeks later while Natásha, unaware of the trip, wanders like a shadow, weeps at night, then tries the old cheerful dress until his footsteps make her pale again.

He asks the countess for Natásha's hand, wins consent and a secret year-long engagement, yet Andrew feels pity more than poetic desire and Natásha sobs that waiting a year is awful before the parents bless the betrothed couple.

In this chapter: Terms Characters Key Quotes Themes Modern Story

Why This Matters

Connect literature to life

Skill: Reading Conditional Consent

Families often say yes while engineering delay. The old prince orders a year abroad, Natásha suffers unexplained silence, then sobs at the wait after Andrew's hand is accepted. Listen for the calendar inside the blessing.

Coming Up in Chapter 130

As the newly engaged couple begins their year-long wait, the strain of uncertainty and family expectations will test whether their love can survive the very approval they sought. The engagement brings new challenges neither anticipated.

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Original text
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Chapter 129

The Price of Love's Approval

Prince Andrew needed his father’s consent to his marriage, and to obtain this he started for the country next day. His father received his son’s communication with external composure, but inward wrath. He could not comprehend how anyone could wish to alter his life or introduce anything new into it, when his own life was already ending. “If only they would let me end my days as I want to,” thought the old man, “then they might do as they please.” With his son, however, he employed the diplomacy he reserved for important occasions and, adopting a quiet tone, discussed…

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Now let's explore the literary elements.

Key Quotes & Analysis

"I beg you to put it off for a year: go abroad, take a cure, look out as you wanted to for a German tutor for Prince Nicholas."

— Old Prince Bolkónski

Context: Conditions he attaches to consent

Delay disguised as care bets passion will cool.

In Today's Words:

The old prince begs Andrew to postpone the wedding a year, go abroad, take a cure, and find a German tutor for little Nicholas before marrying. Strategic waiting often masks hope that time will kill inconvenient love. When approval arrives with a long pause, ask who the delay is designed to protect.

"He just came and then left off, left off...."

— Natásha

Context: Breaking down before her mother after three weeks of silence

Absence without explanation feels like abandonment.

In Today's Words:

Natásha tells her mother he just came and then left off, left off, unable to think about marriage while afraid of him again. Silence after intimacy reads as rejection even when duty caused the gap. If you must vanish for family business, send one clear word so imagination does not write the story.

"I have come, Countess, to ask for your daughter’s hand,"

— Prince Andrew

Context: Formal request after weeks away

Public ritual begins while private feeling already shifted.

In Today's Words:

Andrew tells the countess he has come to ask for her daughter's hand after weeks at his father's estate. Formal requests can arrive after hearts have already decided and bodies have already suffered the wait. Match the ceremony to the information people need, not only to tradition's timing.

"I shall die, waiting a year: it’s impossible, it’s awful!"

— Natásha

Context: Learning the wedding must wait a year

Youth meets duty's calendar with physical grief.

In Today's Words:

Natásha cries she shall die waiting a year, that it is impossible and awful when Andrew explains the delay. A year's pause can feel like exile when you are seventeen and finally chosen. Before you impose waiting as a test, name what you are asking the younger heart to endure.

Thematic Threads

Strategic Delay

In This Chapter

The old prince demands a year abroad before marriage

Development

Andrew conforms; Natásha suffers unexplained silence first

In Your Life:

You might receive yes with a calendar designed to outlast your certainty.

Shifted Feeling

In This Chapter

Andrew's desire turns to pity and duty at the proposal

Development

Natásha's joy collides with adult responsibility and waiting

In Your Life:

You might discover relief and dread in the same yes.

You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.

Discussion Questions

This is not a test. Five prompts guide you through the chapter, from how it opens to how it closes, so you notice context and rhythm rather than facts to memorize. Sit with each question in your own words. When you see "One way to read it," treat it as a starting point, not the only answer.

  1. 1

    What conditions does the old prince place on Andrew's marriage?

    ▶One way to read it

    He cites rank, health, Nicholas's care, and orders a year's delay abroad before wedding.

    analysis • surface
  2. 2

    How does Natásha suffer during Andrew's three-week absence?

    ▶One way to read it

    She wanders listless, weeps at night, feels mocked, then briefly tries her old cheerful routine.

    analysis • medium
  3. 3

    When has silence after closeness felt like rejection to you?

    ▶One way to read it

    Name what you assumed versus what duty caused. Andrew maps Natásha's left off, left off.

    application • medium
  4. 4

    Why does Andrew's feeling at the proposal differ from his earlier passion?

    ▶One way to read it

    Pity and duty replace poetic desire though commitment remains serious.

    application • deep
  5. 5

    Why does Natásha call a one-year wait awful?

    ▶One way to read it

    Youth and immediacy collide with a bond that now carries adult responsibility and delay.

    reflection • deep

Critical Thinking Exercise

10 minutes

Identify the Waiting Game

Think of a current situation where someone is making you wait for something important - a job decision, medical appointment, relationship milestone, or major purchase. Map out who benefits from the delay and who suffers. Then identify whether this waiting serves a legitimate purpose or if someone is hoping your enthusiasm will fade.

Consider:

  • •Who has the power to end the waiting period and what do they gain by extending it?
  • •How has the waiting already changed your feelings about what you originally wanted?
  • •What would happen if you set your own deadline and walked away if it isn't met?

Journaling Prompt

Write about a time when forced waiting changed your mind about something you once desperately wanted. Was the outcome better or worse than if you had gotten what you wanted immediately?

Coming Up Next...

Chapter 130: Love's Quiet Revolution

As the newly engaged couple begins their year-long wait, the strain of uncertainty and family expectations will test whether their love can survive the very approval they sought. The engagement brings new challenges neither anticipated.

Continue to Chapter 130
Previous
Love Declared and Witnessed
Contents
Next
Love's Quiet Revolution
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