Chapter 21
Friends Who Warn You
October 1st.—All is settled now. My father has given his consent, and the time is fixed for Christmas, by a sort of compromise between the respective advocates for hurry and delay. Milicent Hargrave is to be one bridesmaid and Annabella Wilmot the other—not that I am particularly fond of the latter, but she is an intimate of the family, and I have not another friend. When I told Milicent of my engagement, she rather provoked me by her manner of taking it. After staring a moment in mute surprise, she said,— “Well, Helen, I suppose I ought to congratulate you—and…
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Critical Thinking Exercise
The Friend Warning System
Think of someone in your life right now - romantic partner, close friend, boss, or family member. Write down any concerns that friends or family have expressed about this person, even small ones. Don't defend or explain away these concerns yet - just list them honestly. Then imagine you're giving advice to your best friend who described this exact situation to you.
Consider:
- •Notice if you feel defensive while writing down the concerns - that's your emotional protection system kicking in
- •Pay attention to patterns - are multiple people noticing similar things?
- •Consider whether you've been feeling superior to people who 'just don't understand' your situation
Journaling Prompt
Write about a time when you dismissed friends' warnings about someone and later realized they were right. What signs did you miss, and how can you stay more open to outside perspective in the future?
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