Chapter 30
When to Stop Fighting
30.1. He who would assist a lord of men in harmony with the Tao will not assert his mastery in the kingdom by force of arms. Such a course is sure to meet with its proper return. 2. Wherever a host is stationed, briars and thorns spring up. In the sequence of great armies there are sure to be bad years. 3. A skilful (commander) strikes a decisive blow, and stops. He does not dare (by continuing his operations) to assert and complete his mastery. He will strike the blow, but will be on his guard against being vain…
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Critical Thinking Exercise
Map Your Victory Blind Spots
Think of three areas where you currently have power or influence - at work, in relationships, or in your community. For each area, identify what 'winning too hard' would look like and what the long-term costs might be. Then brainstorm what 'stopping at just enough' would look like instead.
Consider:
- •Consider both obvious power (like being someone's boss) and subtle power (like being the family member everyone comes to for advice)
- •Think about how your personality type might make you prone to specific kinds of overreach
- •Remember that the goal isn't to avoid winning, but to win in a way that preserves relationships and future opportunities
Journaling Prompt
Write about a time when you pushed an advantage too far and damaged something important. What would you do differently now, knowing what you know about the pattern of overreach?
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