Chapter 118
Why Chasing Status Is a Losing Game
1.You have been demanding more frequent letters from me. But if we compare the accounts, you will not be on the credit side.[1] We had indeed made the agreement that your part came first, that you should write the first letters, and that I should answer. However, I shall not be disagreeable; I know that it is safe to trust you, so I shall pay in advance, and yet not do as the eloquent Cicero bids Atticus do:[2] “Even if you have nothing to say, write whatever enters your head.” 2. For there will always be something for me…
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Critical Thinking Exercise
Map Your Approval Campaign
Draw three columns on paper: 'What I'm Seeking', 'From Whom', and 'What I Actually Get.' List 3-5 areas where you find yourself seeking approval, validation, or recognition. For each, identify who you're trying to impress and honestly assess what you actually receive when you get their approval. Notice the gap between what you hoped for and what you actually experience.
Consider:
- •Be honest about the emotional cost of seeking each type of approval
- •Consider whether the validation actually changes how you feel about yourself long-term
- •Think about what you might do differently if you weren't seeking that particular approval
Journaling Prompt
Write about one relationship or situation where you could practice 'canvassing for nothing.' What would you say or do differently if you weren't trying to manage the other person's reaction?
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