Letters from a Stoic Ch. 112: When People

Seneca

When People Can't Change

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Summary

A friend has asked Seneca to help reform someone who wants to change. Letter 112 is his answer, and it is not encouraging. He compares the situation to grafting a vine: if the vine is old and decayed, or weak and slender, the cutting will not take.

You can try, but the vine will not receive it, nourish it, or accommodate itself to it. The man in question has been softened by luxury to the point of collapse. He cannot receive reason, and even if he says he wants to change, don't believe him, not because he is lying, but because he genuinely thinks he wants to change while being nowhere near ready to do the actual work.

Men love and hate their vices at the same time. The test is not whether someone expresses dissatisfaction with how they live; the test is whether they put that dissatisfaction to use. Luxury and this man are merely not on speaking terms at the moment.

He will be reconciled to it again. The letter is short, almost curt, and that brevity carries a message of its own.

In this chapter:Terms Characters Key Quotes Modern Story

Why This Matters

Knowing When Reform Will Not Take

Some souls are too softened and hardened at once to receive reason, like old vines that reject grafts. Seneca tells Lucilius his friend cannot receive or nourish reason, that men love and hate their vices at the same time, and that luxury may soon reconcile with itself again.

Before investing in someone else's change, ask whether they want reform or only relief from a hangover.

This chapter

Inside the Mind: The ungraftable vine

Not every vine admits the cutting. Old, decayed, or too thin, it will not take. A friend wants reform for someone who only wants the name of wanting it. Hope that ignores the wood is another kindness that refuses to see.

Continue this thoughtDeed, Word, and the Villa That Looks Like Life

Coming Up in Chapter 113

Seneca turns from the challenge of reforming others to exploring the very nature of the soul itself. He'll examine what gives the soul its vitality and strength - questions that go to the heart of what makes us human..

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Original text

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Chapter 112

When People Can't Change

1.I am indeed anxious that your friend be moulded and trained, according to your desire. But he has been taken in a very hardened state, or rather (and this is a more difficult problem), in a very soft state, broken down by bad and inveterate habits. I should like to give you an illustration from my own handicraft.[1] 2. It is not every vine that admits the grafting process; if it be old and decayed, or if it be weak and slender, the vine either will not receive the cutting, or will not nourish it and make it a…

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Seneca

When People Can't Change

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Study guide

Summary

He will be reconciled to it again. The letter is short, almost curt, and that brevity carries a message of its own.

In this chapter:Terms Characters Key Quotes Modern Story

Why This Matters

Knowing When Reform Will Not Take

Before investing in someone else's change, ask whether they want reform or only relief from a hangover.

This chapter