Chapter 79
Winning Without Creating Enemies
79.1. When a reconciliation is effected (between two parties) after a great animosity, there is sure to be a grudge remaining (in the mind of the one who was wrong). And how can this be beneficial (to the other)? 2. Therefore (to guard against this), the sage keeps the left-hand portion of the record of the engagement, and does not insist on the (speedy) fulfilment of it by the other party. (So), he who has the attributes (of the Tao) regards (only) the conditions of the engagement, while he who has not those attributes regards only the conditions favourable…
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Critical Thinking Exercise
Rewrite the Confrontation
Think of a time when you had to confront someone about something they did wrong, or when someone confronted you. Write out what actually happened, then rewrite the conversation using Lao Tzu's approach. Focus on the solution rather than proving who was right or wrong.
Consider:
- •How did the original approach affect the relationship afterward?
- •What would change if the focus was on preventing future problems rather than assigning blame?
- •How might the other person's pride and ego factor into their response?
Journaling Prompt
Write about a situation where you were proven right but lost the relationship. What would you do differently now, knowing what you know about the Righteous Resentment pattern?
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