Chapter 61
The Power of Playing Small
61.1. What makes a great state is its being (like) a low-lying, down-flowing (stream);—it becomes the centre to which tend (all the small states) under heaven. 2. (To illustrate from) the case of all females:—the female always overcomes the male by her stillness. Stillness may be considered (a sort of) abasement. 3. Thus it is that a great state, by condescending to small states, gains them for itself; and that small states, by abasing themselves to a great state, win it over to them. In the one case the abasement leads to gaining adherents, in the other case to…
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Critical Thinking Exercise
Map Your Influence Style
Think of three recent interactions where you tried to influence someone (convince a coworker, help a family member, resolve a conflict). For each situation, identify whether you used mountain positioning (showcasing expertise, talking more than listening) or valley positioning (asking questions, creating space for them). Write down what actually happened versus what you intended.
Consider:
- •Notice your default pattern - do you tend toward mountain or valley positioning?
- •Consider how the other person responded to your approach
- •Think about times when someone used valley positioning with you - how did it make you feel?
Journaling Prompt
Write about a relationship where you'd like more influence or trust. How could you experiment with valley positioning in your next interaction with this person? What specific questions could you ask instead of statements you might make?
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