Chapter 23
The Weight of Misunderstood Actions
MISTAKES. “Which when his mother saw, she in her mind Was troubled sore, he wist well what to ween.” SPENSER. Margaret had not been gone five minutes when Mr. Thornton came in, his face all a-glow. “I could not come sooner: the superintendent would—— Where is she?” He looked round the dining-room, and then almost fiercely at his mother, who was quietly re-arranging the disturbed furniture, and did not instantly reply. “Where is Miss Hale?” asked he again. “Gone home,” said she, rather shortly. “Gone home!” “Yes. She was a great deal better. Indeed, I don’t believe it was so…
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Critical Thinking Exercise
The Three-Lens Test
Think of someone's recent behavior that confused or bothered you. Write down three completely different explanations for why they acted that way - one based on your hopes, one based on your fears, and one that has nothing to do with you at all. Then consider which explanation you automatically believed and why.
Consider:
- •Notice which lens feels most 'obviously true' - that's probably your projection
- •The explanation that has nothing to do with you is often closest to reality
- •Your emotional state when interpreting affects which lens you choose
Journaling Prompt
Write about a time when you completely misread someone's motives. What were you projecting, and how did you discover the truth? How might you catch this pattern earlier next time?
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