Why We Want What We Can't Have — The Essays of Montaigne

Montaigne opens with contrary reasons: fear of loss may dull pleasure, yet difficulty and uncertainty often sharpen want. Satiety from facility kills appetite; rarity whets it, as Lycurgus made Spartan lovers meet by stealth and poets say forbidden love burns hotter.

Poppea masked her face; farthingales and modest refusals advertise what they seem to hide. People travel to distant shrines while neglecting local cures; Cato desired his wife more when another possessed her; Montaigne's horse ignored familiar mares yet neighed after strangers. Easy divorce, he argues, made Roman spouses earn continuance, while binding marriage slackened will.

Persecution roused the Church; Argippians lived unarmed by sanctity; cotton fences and open doors invite less theft than guarded stores. During civil wars Montaigne left his house undefended, making conquest look base and stripping raids of military glory. For thirty years that policy held: difficulty protected what armour could not.