Chapter 09
The Weight of Lies and Shame
When I reached home, my sister was very curious to know all about Miss Havisham’s, and asked a number of questions. And I soon found myself getting heavily bumped from behind in the nape of the neck and the small of the back, and having my face ignominiously shoved against the kitchen wall, because I did not answer those questions at sufficient length. If a dread of not being understood be hidden in the breasts of other young people to anything like the extent to which it used to be hidden in mine,—which I consider probable, as I have no…
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Critical Thinking Exercise
Map Your Shame Triggers
Think of a recent time you felt the urge to embellish, exaggerate, or lie to avoid looking inadequate. Write down what triggered that feeling and trace the pattern: What made you feel 'less than'? What story did shame tell you about what would happen if people saw the truth? What did you actually do or say?
Consider:
- •Notice the gap between the actual threat and what shame made it feel like
- •Consider how the other person might have actually responded to honesty
- •Think about what you were really trying to protect - your competence, your worth, or your image?
Journaling Prompt
Write about a time when someone's honesty about their limitations or mistakes actually made you respect them more. What does this tell you about the stories shame tells us?
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