Distinguishing Genuine Help from Ego
Help That Needs an Audience
Harriet's happiness with Martin does not require Emma's authorship. Emma can be glad without being the cause. That is the conversion: from help that needed an audience to a friendship that can survive Emma not being useful. The test of the whole book is whether she can love a life she did not arrange.
Key Insight
Genuine help ends in the other person's independence, including independence from your judgment. If they still need you in order to choose, you kept the role.






