The Fear of Losing What You Never Knew You Had — Emma

Threatened with losing Knightley, Emma sees how much of her happiness has always depended on being first with him. She has not deserved that place, yet she knows she is dear to him. Still she cannot hope he loves her as Harriet imagines he might, and the thought of their marriage fills her with silent panic.

She writes Harriet to postpone their meetings, then Mrs. Weston visits with Jane's account of months without one tranquil hour. Emma grieves her own injustice toward Jane and dreads a future without Frank, Jane, the Westons, and above all Knightley at Hartfield.

A storm mirrors her mood as she tends her father through the night. She imagines Donwell and Hartfield emptied of the daily friendship she only now knows how to measure. Every flash of lightning seems to ask what will be left of her life if Knightley belongs to someone else. Morning feels far away and full of dread. She watches the rain and waits for news that may change everything. She cannot name her fear aloud, but it owns every quiet hour until morning. She prays the storm will end before her courage does. Dawn cannot come soon enough for her restless heart.