Chapter 13
Standing Your Ground
Uncle Benjamin found he had reckoned without his host when he promised so airily to take Valancy to a doctor. Valancy would not go. Valancy laughed in his face. “Why on earth should I go to Dr. Marsh? There’s nothing the matter with my mind. Though you all think I’ve suddenly gone crazy. Well, I haven’t. I’ve simply grown tired of living to please other people and have decided to please myself. It will give you something to talk about besides my stealing the raspberry jam. So that’s that.” “Doss,” said Uncle Benjamin, solemnly and helplessly, “you are not—like yourself.”…
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Critical Thinking Exercise
Map Your Own Boundary Crisis
Think of a time when you set a boundary or changed a pattern, and the other person escalated their behavior to try to regain control. Map out their escalation tactics in order, then identify which stage you're currently in with any ongoing boundary situations in your life.
Consider:
- •Notice how their tactics got more desperate over time, not less
- •Identify which manipulation methods worked on you in the past and why
- •Recognize that their panic doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong
Journaling Prompt
Write about a current situation where you need to set boundaries but are afraid of the other person's reaction. What specific escalation tactics do you predict, and how will you stay steady through each one?
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