Waiting for a Father's Answer — Evelina, Or, the History of a Young Lady's Entrance into the World

Evelina writes from Howard Grove on 6 May that the die is thrown, and she attends the event in trembling. Lady Howard has written to Paris and sent the letter to town, to go forward in the ambassador's packet. In less than a fortnight an answer is expected. Upon it, Evelina says, the fate of her future life seems to depend. Her solicitude is so great, and her suspense so painful, that she cannot rest or turn her thoughts into any other channel.

She regrets that the plan was ever proposed. She cannot imagine an ending that would satisfy her. Either she must be torn from the arms of her more than father, or she must be finally convinced that she is cruelly rejected by the man who has the natural claim to that dear title. To write the word fills her with filial tenderness. No one in the house has seen Sir John Belmont's reply, because it does not exist yet. She is already living both versions of it.

Captain Mirvan and Madame Duval quarrel whenever the subject is started. Evelina is so taken up with her own reflections that she cannot listen to them. One moment she is embraced by a kind and relenting parent, who asks through her for peace from her mother's ashes. The next he regards her with detestation, as the living image of an injured saint, and repulses her with horror. She will not afflict Villars with those phantasms. She means to compose her mind, and not to write again until she has in some measure succeeded. The packet is already on its way to Paris.