It Seemed Right to Them — The Enchiridion

When someone does ill by you or speaks ill of you, Epictetus says remember they act or speak from an impression that it is right for them to do so. The opening is not excuse-making; it is mechanism. People follow what appears right to them, not what appears right to you.

The middle turns the injury. It is not possible they should follow your right-appearance, only their own. If they judge from false appearances, they are the person hurt, since they too are deceived. A true proposition taken for false is not hurt; only the man is deceived. Wrong reviling damages the reviler's judgment first.

The closing gives the phrase. Setting out from these principles, you will meekly bear with a person who reviles you, for you will say upon every occasion, It seemed so to him. Meekly bear is not approval of abuse; it is refusal to let their false appearance become your inner riot. Name their impression, protect your assent, answer duty when you must.